Love…is not self-seeking.
…is not easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongs. – I Corinthians 13:5
Love Never Fails.
I write from my heart, understanding that I have not lived up to the definition of love. That I have not lived up to God’s standard of love. When we don’t live up to God’s standard of love, we cause a deep infraction of hurt and sever the incredible bond of a marital union. We cause separation among ourselves. We begin to look at one another for who we are not; and we make our lover our enemy.
I am guilty.
What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
We often lay aside our union rather than laying aside our differences. In doing so, we lay aside God’s command that helps us form a more perfect union, creatively and purposefully designed in His image.
My selfishness tore my husband down. My own selfishness created a sever in our union. Wives, when we only desire to see our own rightness in our husbands’ corrections, we lay aside God’s standard for a standard of our own. We tear apart a pre-purposed marital union that was specifically designed by God to be effective. In His significant design and pairing of our spouse, He created something that can only be unique to the threads of our beings. That is why it is essential that we follow His Word and “cleave” to one another as we become one. In your oneness you are made strong. You are not broken, and you are His.
A three-fold chord is not easily broken. In our obedience to the partnership God designed, we can follow His leadership as He strengthens and guides our marriages – but only if we remain in obedience is where we’ll find this unique gift.
As women, we sometimes let our emotions rule. We forget the true leadership in our home, and we look for reparations to be made that speak to our emotions. Who has God made to be the head? What has God mandated? How are we following when we are leading with our own desires? How can our marriage be made whole when we can only see it ‘our way?’
While we’re busy worrying about our husbands ‘making it right,’ we’re also busy ignoring his leadership, forgetting about his emotions and elevating ourselves above him. In my own marriage I am guilty of leading with my emotions. I am guilty of ignoring my husband’s leadership – God’s standard of marriage. I am guilty of killing my husband’s heart only in thought of my own being restored.
How can we become better wives? How can we usher in restoration in our marriages?
By letting go of our own standard and living in God’s standard. Understand the essence of the man that God has put before you. Learn to live in his leadership. Love him for ‘who you are.’ Learn to love by God’s pattern. And lean not to your own understanding. Love by God’s way, and in Him you will find peace.